Better…

​These voices in my head have gotten louder lately,

If only I had the courage to pull the trigger,

It soothes me,

the cold metal kissing my forehead,

My fingers sensing the power they crave,

the power to finally end this suffering.

The voices screaming to do it, end the pain;

I can feel the gunpowder as I inhale deeply,

But in between the noises, there’s a whisper,

Whisper that finds its way through the crowded streets of my mind,

All it says is, ‘it gets better.’

And for just one more day,

I find the strength to keep the gun down.

 -thewanderingwriter

Help…

​Albus Dumbledore once said, “Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.” 

It took me a long time to realise the depth of this quote, but since it did, words have been my escape from this world. I read somewhere that if you know your why you will always find your way, even in the darkest of hours. I took engineering, so I could one day innovate and somehow contribute in making this world a better place. But in the long run I realised, engineering was just leading to a 9-5 job where the only person I’ll help was me, and sometimes I wouldn’t be able to do that too. 

In all this, I started writing to make sense of everything going on in my life. A lost dream, a heartbreak and an uncertain future always throws a person off. I was doing this to help myself, but then one night I got a message from an unknown girl from a different country. She had read one of my articles online, and she told me that it had helped her in the bleakest moments of her life. She thanked me, and we never spoke again. 

I don’t know who she was, which country she belonged to, which color, which race; I know nothing and I never tried to find out. The only thing that mattered was that my words had done what my degree wasn’t letting me do. And from that day, whenever I feel that my words can’t make a difference I remember that night and then, I write.